So you’ve decided you want to have a destination wedding because the  flexibility, freedom and fun associated with destination weddings appeals to you and your fiance.  And despite, the potential hidden costs, you’re game to keep your budget in check and your eyes on the prize.  You’re thinking a destination wedding is right for you and your intended because you guys (choose as many as apply):

• Like to travel,
• Hope to have an intimate wedding,
• Would like to celebrate your nuptials in an unusual setting,
• Would like to create your own wedding tradition,
• Have family and friends who live all over the country (or possibly all over the world), and
• Can focus on the big picture and are ok with not being completely hands-on during the planning process.

If this is all sounding good to you, then a destination wedding may be the way to go.  Now the work begins – finding the right locale.  A destination wedding is one that you and most of your guests will have to travel to, whether it’s in your hometown, Napa Valley or the Swiss Alps.  Finding the right destination is a three-part process.  First you have to choose your destination, then you have to find a hotel or resort and lastly, you have to choose a site (or sites) at the resort for your ceremony and reception.  There are a million ways to go about finding the right destination for your wedding – here are a few tips to help you narrow down your options as you do your recognaissance.

1. Research the locales you’re interested in online. Play around with sites like Orbitz or Kayak to get an idea of whether or not your family and friends will be able to get there easily without spending an arm and a leg.
2. Choose one or two locales to focus your efforts on and research the resorts and hotels in the area.  Narrow your choices down to 3 – 5 resorts/hotels per locale (city/country).
3. Find out if each resort/hotel has a Wedding Coordinator/Planner and what this person’s role will be at your wedding.
4. Review the resort/hotel’s Wedding Package and jot down any questions you may have.  If the package isn’t available online, call to request it.  The catering menu, along with the beverages menu, should be included in the package.  A good package will clearly spell out what is and is not included in the cost of the ceremony – flowers, officiant and the like.  It’s not the end of the world if a package is light on information – this may mean that you’ll have some flexibility in the planning process.
5. Then call or email the resort/hotel to:

• Get an understanding of the resort/hotel’s Room Block policy.
• Find out where the resort/hotel typically has rehearsal dinners, wedding ceremonies and receptions.  Ask the resort/hotel to send you pictures of weddings held at the resort.
• Find out if the resort/hotel can accommodate a wedding like the one you’re envisioning.
• Find out if your wedding date is available.

Keep detailed notes of your impressions and conversations with the resorts/hotels in your Wedding Notebook (I guarantee you that your Groom-to-Be will ask you about a 1000 times, “didn’t you write that down?!?!”, so write it down).  Narrow down your choices; sometimes the decisions are made for you because the resort you have fallen in love with is going to be closed for renovations during your time-frame, the hotel is booked on your date or while you thought it would be a great place to get married, the cost to get married there exceeds your budget.

Now it’s time to call the resorts and hotels you’ve chosen to set up your site visits. A word to the wise, while you may be going to paradise or one of the most fabulous cities in the world for a long weekend, a site visit is work. Three resorts/hotels in 2.5  days is a bit dizzying, but can be done!   More on destination weddings next week …. Stay tuned.

Where are you thinking about tying the knot?

[image from Luvtrip]

Does your family have a wedding tradition that’s been passed on from generation to generation?  Not necessarily a cultural tradition, but a family tradition that your mom’s mom and  your mom did on their wedding days and now you are going to do on your wedding day?  Does your family have a garter that’s been passed down from generation to generation?  Maybe it’s wearing your mother’s wedding dress a la The Proposal or carrying one of your grandmother’s handkerchiefs in your bouquet somehow.  Is there a family Bible used for all family wedding ceremonies? Adding a piece of familial history to your wedding day can help to make your BIG DAY even more special.  If you don’t have a family wedding tradition, think about creating one that can be passed down to your children and grandchildren.

Here’s a family wedding tradition that I thought was really nice –  I have a friend who is the youngest in a family of 3 girls; each sister wore the same veil when she got married.  Right after the last wedding, the first child was born to one of the sisters.  The sisters agreed to have their veil made into a Christening gown that each of their collective 5 children were Christened in.  The veil/Christening gown is now on it’s third generation of children in the family.

What’s your family wedding tradition?

Pretty in Pink!

Inspiration is defined as the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions. Inspiration boards do just that; they allow you to convey your vision, or inspiration if you will, to all involved with your wedding planning process.  Your team of wedding professionals – planner, photographer, florist, graphic designer, stationer, musician, videographer, event designer, event planner, etc – is well-versed in the ins and outs of helping couples get to I DO.  Clear visual direction, information and ideas from the Bride and Groom help to make their lives easier and your wedding the one you’ve created in your head.  Taking the time to flip through a few bridal magazines (or even home decor magazines) as well as browsing through some bridal websites like theknot, Martha Stewart Weddings and Brides is a great way to get ideas for your BIG DAY. As you peruse, think about what your colors will be, which flowers you’d like to have, what sort of bouquet you’ll carry, what kind of music you plan to walk down the aisle to and so on.  Create an inspiration board online easily like the one above using Mosaic Maker.  Or, if you’re like me and a little technologically challenged, take pages from magazines or printed off the internet to create an Inspiration Binder.  If time is of the essence or you just don’t have the inclination to read about the latest in wedding themes and colors, check out snippet&ink for beautiful inspiration boards to spark your imagination.  Whatever you choose to do, remember that your wedding vendors are not mind readers.  The more visual information you give them the more you can be certain everything will look exactly as you envisioned it when you walk down the aisle!

[images from left to right:   Louella Press, Brian Atwood, JCrew, Martha Stewart Weddings, Martha Stewart Weddings, Martha Stewart Weddings, Wedding Cakes by Kim Payne and Brides]

Every bride should feel extra special on her wedding day.  Finding the right dress is key, but the accessories you choose to wear with it can take you from Blushing Bride to Breathtaking Bride.  I learned about Tejani’s bridal jewelry when a good friend was planning her wedding.  I thought the jewelry was stunning and I made a mental note to myself that when I got ready to say I DO, Tejani would be part of my wedding day ensemble.  All of Tejani’s jewelry is handcrafted by artisans in Mumbai, India.  As a result, it’s unique and customizable – from sizing to insure the bracelets and bangles fit you perfectly to allowing you to choose the stones as well as metal finishes on much of their bridal collection.  Prices range from $75 -$400.

Starting January 23rd, the folks at Tejani are hitting the road.  You can see the bridal collection in person at their trunk shows in the following cities:

• Miami – January 23rd
• Dallas – February 6th
• Washington, D.C. – February 27th
• Boston – March 6th
• Chicago – March 20th

To set up an online appointment, click here.  If you happen to live in New York or are planning a trip to New York, schedule an appointment to stop by their New York show room.

Your Tejani experience will leave you with visions of bangles, bracelets, necklaces and earrings dancing in your head!

[image from Tejani]

Are you keeping your maiden name or are you taking his last name?  How many times have well-meaning friends, colleagues and family members asked you this question?  Were you sure and now are you having cold feet?  Are you like me, with no brothers to carry the family name on?  Or maybe, you’re like my friend Kristin who hated her maiden name, Belcher, from the time she was a little girl.  She was teased on the playground when kids called her burper or belch -
nothing terribly offensive, but she decided that her married name seems more user friendly.

Believe it or not, the maiden name movement began in the 1850s when suffragette Lucy Stone, age 37, decided to keep her maiden name when she married abolitionist Henry Blackwell.  But, it wasn’t until the 1970s and the rise of feminism that women really began to tackle this issue – you know fighting against the demeaning use of the word “maiden” and its categorization of a woman by her sexual status. Today, however, the name-change tango seems to have lost some of its original frisson.  No one is any more surprised when an independent professional woman marries and decides to change her last name (think Heidi Samuel, better know as Heidi Klum, or Eva Longoria Parker) than when that same woman decides to keep her name.

Changing your name is more than a notion, it requires a lot more than learning to write his name in cursive on the Post-It pad next to your laptop.  The decision to change your name means giving up part of your identity; in this day and age women have the luxury to contemplate this decision.  Changing your name signifies to those around you that you are your beloved’s wife, for better or for worse. At another point, maybe sooner rather than later, it may signify that you are the mother of your beloved’s child.  The rules are no longer hard and fast.  You may decide to keep your maiden name for professional purposes but use your married name in social settings.  Or, you may decide to keep your maiden name and come to the realization once the bambinos are born that it’s just easier for everyone to have the same last name (a la the former Ms. Klum now Mrs. Samuel).  And we haven’t even explored the notion of hyphenation …

So, how do you go about changing your name?  Well, there are lots of online sites that will walk you through the process – I think the folks at eHow have compiled a great list if you’re looking for a step-by-step process.  Or, if you’re like me and are looking for something a little more one-step, check out MissNowMrs the online name change service for brides.  It’s a little more work than I thought it would be, but for $30 they provide you with all of the forms that need to be filled out (you can fill them out online) and then mail them or go to the proper office to have them filed.

To answer your question, I’m keeping my maiden name for professional purposes and have taken my husband’s name for all other parts of my life.  I think dear old Bill Shakespeare said it best when he said, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

What are you thinking about doing or what have you decided to do?

[image from Slate.com]