The BIG DAY is almost here!!!  Essentials?  What essentials?  You’ve got your dress, shoes, hair and make-up all under control.  Which means you’re just about set  . . . but there are a few things you’re going to want to have with you during the actual celebration to make sure that you’re picture perfect for every shot.

1. A beautiful clutch bag to carry your essentials in.  I’m partial to sparkly, but choose one that makes your heart sing.  It could be the color of your dress or possibly the color that your bridesmaids wear.
2. Pressed Blotting Powder.  Shiny is not what you want to be on your wedding day.  Emotions will be running high and your internal furnance may choose to kick in.  Minimize your shine with MAC ’s pressed blotting powder.
3. Lip Gloss.  Sheer lips are the way to go, MAC lip glass will keep a little bit of color on your lips and it’s so darn easy to apply!
4. Lip Balm. Rosebud Lip Balm is my favorite – it’s great for dry lips, perfect under your lip gloss and it will even give your Groom’s lips a nice moisturized look for photos.
5. Mints. Altoids, Altoids, Altoids.  They’re curiously strong for a reason! (I love the Ginger ones).
6. Blotting Paper.  They’re easy to store and use; ALSO, you can hand them out to your Groom, Attendants and anyone else who get’s a little shiny.  I’ve used Papier Poudre forever and a day.
7. A Handkerchief.  I cry at other people’s weddings, so I knew the faucet would be turned on at my own wedding! A pretty hankie is the best thing to have tucked away in your clutch or bossom to dry those eyes.
8. A Camera.  You’ve hired a photographer to shoot the wedding so that you don’t have to worry about trying to capture the moment, but you’re not going to get those pictures back for months!  Pack a little digital camera in your purse and give it to one of your bridesmaids or good friends and ask them to take photos for you – you’re wedding day will be a blur to you. Everyone says it goes by in a flash, and it really truly does.  Having photos on your own camera to look at the day after with your hubby is one of the best gifts you can receive!

Your oldest childhood friend got engaged and she asked you to be a member of her bridal party.  Woo hoo!  Well, kind of  . . . It’s always so much fun to go to a wedding as a guest, not so much fun to go as a bridesmaid.  As a bridesmaid, you’re responsible for planning the Bridal Shower, the Bachelorette Party, buying your dress and shoes (unless the bride is generous enough to purchase them for you, etiquette dictates she should but wallets often dictate something entirely different!) and being her handmaidens on her BIG DAY.  Whew! Just makes me tired thinking about all of the responsibility.  But, for a good friend you do what you gotta do.

Traditionally, bridal showers were given to “shower” the bridal couple with gifts to help them establish a home together.  It’s often a great opportunity for the Bride to get together with family and friends a few weeks or months ahead of the BIG DAY.

So, how do you plan an awesome bridal shower with other women (and sometimes men) who are crazy busy and don’t live nearby?  Here are some tips to make the planning process a little less daunting:

• In this day and age of technological advancement, use email and conference calls to streamline your lines of communication.

1. Set up a Google Group so that you can dialogue as a group without having to type in each person’s name every time you want to send an email to group.
2. Use Skype to set up your conference calls.  Skype is a free tool that allows you to make phone calls over the internet to anyone anywhere for as long as you like.

• Generally, the Maid or Matron or Man of Honor is the BIC (bridesmaid-in-charge) but the Bride wont care who does what just as long as the party is well-planned.
• Create a budget that everyone is comfortable with and ask that each participant contribute equitably.
• Ask the Bride for her guestlist – not just names but addresses, phone numbers and email addresses (this list will make life easy for the Bride as well as the bridesmaids – you’ll be able to quickly contact those who forget to RSVP to tracking down the guest who left her umbrella at the shower).
• Choose a date.
• Choose a theme with some guidance from the Bride.
• Divvy up responsibilities – Location; Decor; Invitations; Favors; Games
• Set up a timeline for what should be done and when.
• Set up weekly conference calls to check-in with one another and insure that things are moving along the right track.

Your Bride doesn’t need to know the particulars of what you’re planning, in fact the less she’s involved the better.  This means no micromanaging for you and one less detail for her to worry about.  Stay tuned for some great tips that will help you save money while planning an absolutely fabulous shower!

[image courtesy of Minted]

Does your family have a wedding tradition that’s been passed on from generation to generation?  Not necessarily a cultural tradition, but a family tradition that your mom’s mom and  your mom did on their wedding days and now you are going to do on your wedding day?  Does your family have a garter that’s been passed down from generation to generation?  Maybe it’s wearing your mother’s wedding dress a la The Proposal or carrying one of your grandmother’s handkerchiefs in your bouquet somehow.  Is there a family Bible used for all family wedding ceremonies? Adding a piece of familial history to your wedding day can help to make your BIG DAY even more special.  If you don’t have a family wedding tradition, think about creating one that can be passed down to your children and grandchildren.

Here’s a family wedding tradition that I thought was really nice –  I have a friend who is the youngest in a family of 3 girls; each sister wore the same veil when she got married.  Right after the last wedding, the first child was born to one of the sisters.  The sisters agreed to have their veil made into a Christening gown that each of their collective 5 children were Christened in.  The veil/Christening gown is now on it’s third generation of children in the family.

What’s your family wedding tradition?

It’s your BIG DAY. You’ve got to find the perfect dress.   Someone told you that once you find the right dress everything else will fall into place.  Hmmm … Most of us have in some way shape or form, at some point in time, fantasized about our wedding day and have envisioned ourselves in a cloud of white.  A big pouffy confection, sleek and sexy, Victorian, sophisticated, old world romantic, haute couture, beaded and sparkly, minimalist, short, low-cut, back-out, long, and the list continues; your perfect dress is out there, you just have to find it.

The task will be much easier if you figure out where you’re going to say I Do, before you make the rounds at all of the bridal boutiques – Amsale, Vera Wang, Saks, Mark Ingram, Claire Pettibone, Monique Lhuillier, Reem Acra, Kleinfelds, Atelier Amiee, Carolina Herrera, Jana Starr, JCrew, Jenny Packham, Junko Yoshioka, Lela Rose, Nicole Miller, Priscilla of Boston, Pronovias, Selia Yang - to name a few (whew, I’m exhausted and I haven’t even hit the tip of the iceberg!)

Last week the New York Times reported that it’s not uncommon for brides to make multiple wedding dress purchases in the quest for the perfect dress.  Not you? That’s what I thought too – but, trust me, it’s very easy to get caught up in All Things Bridal (I was a 2-dress bride, one for the wedding ceremony and one for the PARTY!, but I must admit that I do own 3 wedding gowns – I’m going to sell the Plan B dress on OnceWed, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet).

How to find the Perfect Wedding Dress:

1. Secure your venue before buying your wedding dress.  The beautiful sleek sophisticated structured wedding gown you’ve always dreamed of may not be the perfect dress for your laid-back wedding on Martha’s Vineyard.
2. Flip through magazines and look at wedding dresses online to get a sense of the kinds of dresses you’re attracted to. If you can give a salesperson a sense of what you’re looking for it will make it much easier for them to help you.
3. Wear well-fitting and proper undergarments when you go to try on wedding gowns.  Nude colored is best, leave the black skivvies at home.  If you’ve got some bits that need a little taming, bring your shapewear with you as well.
4. Only buy a wedding dress that makes your heart leap! (not your mom’s, not your bestfriend’s, not the saleswoman’s) Don’t buy a wedding dress that’s a great price but you feel lukewarm about it.  You’re going to keep looking and you will end up buying another that makes you’re heart leap.
5. When you go shopping for your wedding dress take no more than 1 or 2 trusted advisors. Too many opinions can make what should be a fun process stressful and overwhelming.
6. Stay within your budget (the right dress at the wrong price is not the perfect dress).
7. If all else fails and the task of finding the perfect wedding dress seems too daunting, stylist Allison Berlin will hold your hand through the process.

Don’t stress out about finding the perfect wedding dress.  There are tons of dresses out there to choose from, you may not find “The Dress” on your first shopping expedition, but whatever path you choose, trust that you will find the perfect wedding dress in due course.

[images clockwise from center - Claire Pettibone, Calvin Klein, Elie Saab, Shahin Design (gold dress), Daily Candy Weddings, Jenny Packham, Vera Wang, Christos, Vivienne Westwood, Alix&Kelly, Maggie Sottera, Alix&Kelly]